“I think there’s no excuse for being late, except if it is a true emergency. Otherwise, being late is just an excuse and the person was obviously doing something more important and didn’t take my day/time/plans/life into consideration. I will wait about 10 minutes IF they have a valid excuse, otherwise, NEXT.”
How To Determine If You Should Wait For Your Date
As you can see, a lot of factors go into how long someone will wait for their date. “In my opinion, a date can be given a grace period of 15 minutes — unless they call or text and have a legitimate reason for being late,” Samantha Daniels, dating expert and founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking, tells Bustle. “But, it is NOT OK for someone to be 15 minutes late on every date, because lateness does reflect how much someone respects another person.” She says to pay attention to the reason “why” your date is late: Are they not excited to see you? Do they prioritize other things in their life over you? Is being a little late for you OK but cutting another appointment short is not acceptable?
“You want someone to respect you, and they will only respect you if you ask for respect by letting them know that their regular lateness is not acceptable,” Daniels says. “And, trust your instincts.”
Fran Greene, author of Dating Again with Courage and Confidence, says a few things go into determining if you should wait for your date — or not. “You should decide how long you want to wait based on how apologetic they are, how much notice you were given, and, most importantly, how much you trust your date,” she tells Bustle. “You can reframe the lateness and take control and say, ‘Since you are going to be late, why don’t we reschedule for later or tomorrow when you are not so stressed.’” She says that, this way, you are letting them off the hook, but also showing respect for your time.
“Although being late shows a lack of regard for your date, it can happen to all of us,” Greene says. “However, it can bring you closer together if you both show understanding and concern for each other. Being late once is an exception — being late more than once is a pattern.”
Of course, at the end of the day, only *you* can determine how long you’ll wait for your date.
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